Wow, the last day of January has arrived and I’m finally! ready to share my 2018 reflections with you! (You can read the 2017 ones here.) The past six weeks or so I’ve been hiding out a bit, mulling over my 2018 takeaways, digging deep and sitting with some of the discomfort that has come with that. (Being honest with ourselves can be tough work!) For me, 2018 was a year of dealing with disappointment, as well as a year of re-examining how I place value on various aspects of my life.
Living in the age of social media – eg the highlight rolls of our peers and friends – can make it even more difficult for us to accept when things don’t work out for us. In my case, I had professional goals that I wanted to meet. In 2017 I made myself a 5 year plan and I was SO sure that I’d hit my marks for 2018! But then came May, and August, and November … and finally I had to accept that I hadn’t met any of them. Not one. And that was pretty gutting.
But why share this with you? Didn’t I just say that social media is a happy, highlight-filled space?!
Absolutely. But here at RHW, it’s also a REAL one.
And the reality is that my perceived failure professionally made me look harder at the other aspects of my life. It challenged me to think about how I assign value to the various components that make up my world. I had to ask myself “What does it mean that I wasn’t able to find full-time work?” “Am I less worthy because I work part-time?” and – scariest of all – “How valid are the other ways that I spent my time?”
My self-reflection helped me to widen the lens through which I was viewing my life. It brought me to the bigger picture. Sure, 2018 wasn’t my year professionally, but socially? WOW. I made so many friends! Good ones, even! And my students? They may not be many but holy moly are they consistent, dedicated and so much fun to see get stronger. And let’s not forget my partnership! Less than four months until our wedding and we are stronger together than we’ve ever been.
In the end, 2018 didn’t give me what I asked for. Instead, it seems to have given me what I needed. Because even though it was one complicated, tough nut of a year, I had a mountain of love and support and friendship lighting my way through. And that’s pretty awesome.
In fact: maybe that’s what life is actually all about.
I know that 2019 is already rolling, but I hope that you too can take a step back, see your bigger picture and embrace every corner of your life. After all, you never know what – or who! – you might find.
Xoxo,
Lorenzo Bonino
Beautiful piece, Vivian! I’m so proud of you! #real